It’s fair to say that I’m a pretty independent soul.  This, I believe, is a very positive thing.  However a strong independent streak can also be challenging, for yourself and also for those around you.

I have to be very conscious that not everyone share’s my overriding desire to be self-reliant.  In many relationships (both friends and romantic relationships) my independence has caused misunderstandings and challenges.  In fact right before I got together with my husband I’d resigned myself to the fact that I might never meet anyone who could handle my drive to be self-sufficient.

As it turns out I now have a good balance of maintaining my independence and ensuring it doesn’t get in the way of healthy relationships.  What I have learnt through being an army wife, particularly with a deployment on the horizon, is that independence is important.

To keep my independence I consciously make sure I’m doing things on my own, even if it’s just once a week.  Sometimes this is just being on a train journey, other times it’s a barefoot run on the beach.  For me the key thing is to keep up that inner strength so that when you need to face things alone, it’s easier.



It was marriage that turned me into an ‘army wife’.  Before I got married lots of people told me they couldn’t imagine me as an army wife.  All I was thinking was, what does that even mean?  I’ll just be me, with a husband.  Actually, people telling me I might not fit in with other army wives made me worried that I wouldn’t make any friends, I wouldn’t have a network and I might be quite lonely.

So two years into being an ‘army wife’.  Guess what, I’m just me with a husband (and a dog now!).  I have made good friends, had really fun times and met some incredible women and men on this journey so far.  Being myself and embracing the experience has definitely helped me during my first few years as an army wife.  But most importantly, before you are an army wife you are YOU, so I try to stay true to myself, what I believe in and what I care about .  The rest will follow.